"As for me,
to love you alone, to make you happy, to do nothing which would contradict
your wishes, this is my destiny and the aim of my life."
- Napoleon Bonaparte to Josephine, 1796
Dog River Publishing
3006 Bryant
Road
Mobile, AL 36605
email: editor@dogriverpub.com
The
Love Survey
2002 Love Survey Winner
Winning entry for # 50: "What is the most important thing(s) a person
can do to create and maintain a happy relationship?"
Winner of the $25.00
Marie Mitchell, (office manager from Ohio):
Make sure that his/her partner's "love tank" is full. That means find
out what it is that fulfills their partner's emotional needs. Whereas one
person might need hugs & kisses to feel full, the other may need praise
and words of affection more than physical touch. People tend to do for others
what makes THEM feel good, not realizing that this does not fill the other
person's "love tank." And do a regular "check" by asking your partner how
their "tank" is today.
We honorably mention --
Carol Drury (therapist/Maryland):"
When deciding to do or say something, ask yourself 'Is this good for the
relationship?'. If the answer is 'yes,' do or say it; if the answer
is 'no' -- don't keep score; do for the relationship, and both win."
Michelle Simons (Government
employee/Michigan): Trust and find good things to talk about, smile at each other, let them know that they are
trusted and give them space."
2 Second Place Prizes of $10.00
Elizabeth Nigh (graduate
student/English) (partial response): "Remember, just as you may complain
about how bad our "disposable/replaceable" culture is when you find evidence
of shoddy workmanship in items, from newly-built homes to manufactured
goods, that it's too easy to take the same careless attitude about a relationship
-- the old adage is true: the more work you put into a relationship, the
more there is in it to enjoy -- love is a work in progress, and we are the
artists. Remember when your partner says, 'I'm sorry,' that the best response
is, 'That's okay now; I'm over it' -- and mean it -- Never say, 'I told
you so,' and don't keep score, as it's not a competition."
David Cheely (freelance writer/Michigan):
"There is an odd-fitting crooked line where two people fit together. This
line has to remain a line. It can't expand into a fissure. Know the dimensions
and the geography of that line and remember to keep your eye on it.
Look for the warning signs. We all know what they are. When you see
them, talk to your partner about them. Mend the break before it becomes too
much to handle. Communication is important".
A few more we liked --
Nora S. (Nurse/Indiana):
Be open and honest with their feelings, respect one another, and I feel that
being united together in our religious and spiritual beliefs helps us to
develop that inner strength to know we are not alone in our joys, pain and
sorrows, and keeps us supplied with enough strength and energy to face the
good times and the times of hardship and to help us prosper in every facet
of our lives."
Mari ( Mom/Arkansas)(part of her response): "You need to keep
your love for each other alive and in the moment, even when the new wears off
of the relationship."
Tonya Simmons ( Homemaker/Indiana)
(part of her response): "Never run away when there is a problem. If
you need a small recess, do so, in separate rooms, then talk about it.
NEVER go to bed angry..., and never forget to hug and kiss him before he
leaves because you never know what could happen while apart."
Que Banh (student/disabled/community
college): "Keep the lines of communication open; talk about things before
problems get too big. Realize that you are still both individuals and see
life differently, and accept that. Don't try to force your views on your
partner."
Mary Agloro (Associate Degree/retired/Washington)
(part of her response): Respect and appreciate the fact that the other person
has chosen you to spend their life with. This is a very precious thing.
Commit not only to each other, but to God. Don't even mention the 'D' word.
" Mary has more to say. She has already been married for 40 years!
Be sure to get a copy of THE
LOVE ALMANAC, when it's published, to read all of the other interesting answers
and more about the people who submitted them, as I can't list all of them.
Thank you for your participation in the 2002 LOVE SURVEY, and be sure
to respond to #48 of the 2003 LOVE SURVEY, again for a $25 prize!
Winner of the 2003 Love
Survey (best answer to question # 48) to be awarded
$25 on May 6, 2003, if at least 250 entries have been received. Winning
answers will be published in The Love Almanac.
Results of the love survey will be printed
in THE LOVE ALMANAC, to be published in 2003. (Please check back
on this site!) The almanac will cover such topics as love trivia, love
advice from the experts, history of love, love magic, how to get a
husband (from an 1890 ladies' manual), love quotes, poems, aromatherapy,
much more
1.I am Female Male
Educational
level:
Occupation:
2.
My age is:
3.
My nationality is: (If
American, also give state.)
4.
My ethnic group is:
Caucasian African-American Asian
Native
American Hispanic
Other
5.
I am presently in a romantic relationship: yes no
6.
I am:
7.
How did you meet your partner?
8.
I am presently happy unhappy with my relationship.
9.
I have been in this relationship for:
10.
What is the best aspect of your relationship?
11.
What is the worst aspect of your relationship?
12.Have
you just recently gotten out of a romantic relationship? yes no
13.
If yes, who ended it? you your partner
14.
What caused the breakup? infidelity lack of interest sex problems family/friends jealousy control religion lack of concern issues
other
(explain)
15.
Would you get back into this relationship if you could? yes no
16.
Would you prefer a new relationship? yes no
17.
Do you find your present/past partner attractive? yes no not as attractive as I'd like
18.
On a scale of 1 - 10 (10 highest) how would you rate your partner's attractiveness?
19.
How important is physical attractiveness to you? (same scale of 1 - 10)
20.
How important is job status? (scale of 1 - 10)
21.
How important is sexual performance? (scale of 1 - 10)
22.
How important is the ability to have children? (scale of 10)
23.
How important is money? (scale of 1 - 10)
24.
How important is good health? (scale of 1 - 10)
25.
How often do you go out together?
26.
Would you like to go out:
27.
Check the ones that apply. When you're out together in a social setting,
does your partner: stays with you
and remains attentive
leaves you for periods of time shows more attention to others
and ignores you
seems happy to be with you and shows you off to others flirts with others
discreetly flirts with others indiscreetly spends time checking out other men/women
only slightly to the point it's embarrassing
leaves with another kisses another
28.
Does your partner treat you lovingly? yes no
29.
Does your partner listen to you? yes no
30.
When you go out around his/her coworkers, friends, do you feel comfortable
and secure? yes no
31.
Do you feel taken advantage of in your relationship? yes no
32.
Do you feel like you give more to the relationship than your partner does?
yes no
33.
If yes, in what way(s)?
other
34.
Do you feel that you both share, equally, the responsibility of maintaining
the relationship?
yes no
35.
Do you think that you are both equally committed to the relationship?
yes no
If
no, who is more committed:
you partner
36.
Do you expect your relationship to become long-term? yes no
Why
or why not?
37.
Do you think your partner tells you white lies? yes no
38.
If yes, when? Check answers that apply.
about other love interests
about money about work about past life/personal life
39.
How has this affected your relationship?
40.
Are there children from other marriages? yes no yours?
your partners? both
41.
Do you have children together? yes no
42.
Have you had family problems?
yes no
43.
If yes, with:
44.
Have either your, or your partner's children, tried to sabotage your relationship?
yes no
45.
Were you able to stand together and save the relationship? yes no
46.
Are you and your partner compatible in the following ways:valuessex attitudes toward relationship respect for each other's
needs need for
free timereligion healthy attitude
47.
Is your partner: too
possessive/controlling
too detached (too unconcerned )
**48.
What is the most romantic thing your partner has done for you (or does
on a regular basis)?
49.
Why do you think your partner loves you?
50. What is the most important
thing(s) a person can do to create and maintain a happy relationship?
** The
best answer to this question wins $25 !****
Name:
(Optional; may give first name only or no name at all. Leave
email address if you want me to contact you about contest results.)
email address:
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